1. One year is not enough time. No one is perfect. Everyone has an Achilles' heel. I hate washing the dishes; Lucas plays too many video games. We've both had the past ten years of adulthood to get set in our ways. Lucas pretty regularly gets on me about not doing the dishes because he doesn't like doing them all the time. I get on his case for gaming too much. I've realized that one year is not enough time to change them. We both want to break these bad habits. It's just going to take longer than one year.
2. Lingerie is overrated. Receiving a slew of nighties, negligees and robes at a bride's bachelorette party is practically a right of passage to get married these days. Don't get me wrong - I'm truly thankful for all the wonderful gifts I received. However, if I can be completely honest, they haven't gotten used as much as I thought. And no, it's not because we are too busy fighting over the dishes or having a power grab for the remote, but because it just doesn't get used. When the mood hits, there's just no time.
3. Say yes. The proposal and the wedding ceremony shouldn't be the last times you say yes (or I do) to each other. I once read that the key to a solid marriage is to keep dating your spouse. I think this is wonderful advice. When your spouse suggests to do something you may not be super keen on but you know they really want to do it, say yes. If you were still dating, you probably would have said yes without hesitation. Lucas knows I enjoy dancing while we wait in the check out lane at the grocery store, that I like to go out to the bars, that I love watching my Mizzou Tigers play football, that I love taking pictures. He doesn't necessarily enjoy any of those things, but he tries to do them for me to make me happy. He also just recently admitted he should say yes more. And so should I.
4. Do things just because. This takes saying yes to the next level. It's easy to get complacent in your relationship. It's easy to take your spouse for granted. It's easy to forget that today could be your last day together. Lucas knows how much I love back rubs, so when he just offers me one out of the blue, I gladly accept. When I write him little love notes in the morning, he sees how much I love him. It doesn't take much to show your love and appreciation for each other. It's the little things you do "just because" that makes every day better.
5. Keep the faith. I truly believe God brought Lucas into my life. We make it a center part of our relationship to attend church, pray together and try to show God's love to others. The foundation of a Christian marriage has been huge for us this past year. I know our faith will continue to keep our marriage strong during the second year of marriage and every other year going forward.
What did you learn in your first year of marriage? I'd love to hear from you!